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The Power of a “Done” List

If you, like me, regularly forget the 8 of 10 tasks you have finished while brooding on the two you didn’t, this essay is for you. I have always been productive. However, I consistently focused on the unfinished tasks of the day. I finally came up with a solution that works for me. I’m sharing it because it might work for others.

How to begin

Create a page for the day, week, or month in a notes app on your phone or computer. Any kind of list that works for you is fine. I like to list mine daily, because that is where I have focused my attention.

It can be helpful to move your completed daily items to the weekly list and your weekly completed items to your monthly lists during your review. Some of us (looks around and raises hand) need to visually see the cumulative effect of what we have done and accomplished.

Keeping track

This can happen in several ways. Please don’t trust that you can do a wrap-up from memory at the end of the day. Trust me. Those who are wired like this will always forget to acknowledge something we have finished.

It’s best to keep track incrementally during the day. Tie your recording of finished tasks to something else that is timed.

Use whatever works for you. I use the Pomodoro method, and at the end of each focus period, before my break, I write down what I have accomplished. I also use Toggl to track and time my tasks.

You can also use interstitial journaling, a calendar, a time log, or sticky notes on the computer. Whatever works is fine.

The Payoff

Track your progress and finished tasks daily. Soon, you’ll acknowledge how much you do. I promise, it’s a game-changer.

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The Power of a Tolerations List

What are you tolerating in your business? In your life? Think of the things that irritate you, that could be eliminated, but you continue to put up with them.

Because we are wired to look for the negativity, a survivor skill left over from the earliest days of humans, this may be a very easy list for some of you to create.

If you are having trouble, try mentally walking through your day from the time you get up: bare feet on a cold floor, maybe a throw rug would be helpful. No brown belt to go with your brown pants? Put it on the list. You get the idea.

Take a walk through each room in your house, and note all the things you have been putting up with. It could be too much stuff, too much mess, or things in places that don’t make sense. Write it all down.

At work, things you tolerate could be as small as never having a pen with ink when you need one, not having a pencil sharpener, or a larger issue, such as not having enough training for the tasks you are expected to do. Maybe your job is not a good fit. Write them all on the list.

Once you have your master list, you can simply begin eliminating the problem. If you want to get more detailed, you can divide the list by time or money needed, or by linking items. The new throw rug and a brown belt can go on the next shopping list, along with new pens for your desk.

The power of a tolerations list is that issues move from irritations to solvable problems. I promise more energy, clarity of mind, and relief as you take care of each item.

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Blog Podcasts Poetry and Prompts

10 Lessons Learned from Doing NaPodPoMo for the first time

Last November, I decided to tackle one of the items on my bucket list and learn how to do a podcast. National Podcast Post Month aka NaPodPoMo was the perfect opportunity.  The challenge was to post 30 podcasts in 30 days.  I successfully completed the challenge. Below, I’ve listed ten of the lessons I learned .

Lessons Learned

  1. Try new things even if you are afraid. It is easier if you are with a group of folks that are on the same path. My cheerleading group,
    NaPodPoMo.org x Dreemport.com | Powered by CWH group, helped me figure things out, let me know of helpful apps, and were a joy to co-work with.
  2. Baby bites are totally okay.  Because I wanted to focus on learning the technology, I decided to use the daily poetry and writing prompts emails I have been sending out for more than 2 years. Normally, I would have designed some big project that took a lot of planning and research. Being content with a baby bite was a big achievement for me.
  3. Define success on your terms. Is success publishing 30 podcasts for the challenge? Or learning how to podcast by practicing the steps from conception to publish on a few podcasts? You decide.
  4. Everything has a process composed of separate steps.  You may look at the entire process, but focus only on the first step, then the next’ and so on.
  5. Give yourself the grace of an open mind and a willingness to try more than once if the first, or second, or third time doesn’t work. This is a new skill you are learning. I like to think of a child learning to walk. I can’t and won’t fail nearly as many times as I fell on my bum while learning to walk. And, here I am walking everyday.
  6. Be patient with yourself and be willing to walk away for a bit. There’s no shame in returning with a fresh brain.  The longer you sit there trying to push through, the more stuck you will be.
  7. Know your signal that frustration is setting in. Mine is anger. If I start to get angry, or start to swear at the screen, I know it is time to walk away, change tasks, get a fresh coffee, water, or tea.  Or go for a quick walk around the block. Anything to interrupt the mental pattern of “I’m not getting this. I’m never going to get this.”
  8. Remember, your learning pace is yours. Don’t let yourself feel shamed  if you aren’t moving as fast as others or if you are told that you are moving too far ahead. Again, your learning pace is yours!
  9. Find a buddy or buddies to keep you company while you try that new challenge. Virtually works fine and may even be better than in person. Schedule a time to talk about progress and maybe to co-work  virtually.  The support, suggestions, and different perspectives provided will inevitably speed you along.
  10. Celebrate every victory! When you learn to script, use your mic, record on your computer, add transition music, find your RSS feed – every small step in the process is worth celebrating. Put your focus on what you accomplished not what you didn’t do.

My Bonus Lessons.

This was a fun experiment. In addition to the lessons listed below, I also learned about many useful podcast related applications and software programs that I will continue to explore. I learned enough that I am now completely comfortable with the steps involved in taking a podcast from idea to published. And, I met new friends to share the fun with.  I’m already planning more than one new podcast series for the future.

If you would like to listen to Poetry and Prompts, click on the links  anchor.fm https://anchor.fm/jessica-l-lloyd-rog

Spotify  https://open.spotify.com/show/4KEGIJV4otOuqoPGT6zia1 

If you would like to subscribe, here’s the link to my RSS feed.

https://anchor.fm/s/c71747d4/podcast/rss

 

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The Power of Heart-Centered Breathing

Want to calm down? Drop your attention out of your head and into your heart. Picture yourself breathing through your heart, and then begin to slow your breathing down even more. It only takes a minute to reset to coherence, which means all your systems line up and work in harmony.

Science has discovered that emotions such as frustration, irritation, impatience, anger, and worry disrupt our system, inhibit brain function, and impair our performance. Conversely, emotions such as appreciation, calmness, patience, and confidence promote optimal performance by creating coherence.

Why does heart-centered breathing work?

We’ve known for years that the heart and brain constantly communicate. More recently, scientists have discovered the heart sends 5-10 times the number of messages to the brain than the brain sends to the heart.

Heart rhythms directly affect the brain centers involved in foresight, decision-making, social awareness, and our ability to self-regulate. Our cortex (the front part of our brain) does the thinking. But, it can only do that when the thalamus tells it to do so, because the thalamus is the command center and synchronizes all the cortical activity.

When we focus on our heart, it changes what is happening with both the sympathetic (our gas pedal) and the parasympathetic (our brake) nervous systems. When we are incoherent, they work against each other. By bringing our attention to the heart, these systems synchronize and begin working together. This harmony changes and unlocks the brain in a beneficial way.

The next time you feel out of sorts (incoherent), center your attention on your heart and begin to breathe yourself into coherence. It works.

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The Power of Self-Soothing

We all have those moments when we feel emotionally overwhelmed and out of control. We become dysregulated, described as ‘an abnormality or impairment in the regulation of a metabolic, physiological, or psychological process’.

I didn’t understand this until a few years ago when I was diagnosed with PTSD. Normally a person with great self-control, I would sometimes find myself irrationally angry, anxious, frustrated, or zoning out without understanding where it came from or what to do about it.

To my horror, my episodes seemed to replicate those of children I had cared for in our foster home. That’s when I realized that dysregulation can happen to all of us. I knew I had to learn ‘adult-sized’ self-soothing techniques.

Grounding with the Senses

When we are dysregulated, we are not grounded. Having a toolbox of potential coping techniques is imperative. Some of these techniques will work better than others, depending on what your leading sense is.

For example, just before I sat down to write this article, I baked some cranberry orange scones with walnuts and made a cup of Lapsang Souchong tea. Baking always calms me down, as does tea. This tea in particular has magical calming qualities for me. (It was a hard day)

Some Techniques:

Touch: walking, marching in place, stamping your feet on the floor, running cold water over your wrists, or washing your face, stepping outside, drinking a glass of water.

Smell: a good cup of coffee or a favorite tea, a whiff of lavender (or your favorite aromatherapy oil), or fresh scones

Sight: looking at a favorite picture or painting, taking a moment to doodle or color, temporarily taking yourself to another room with different visuals

Think about how you perceive the world, and make a list of possible grounding techniques. Save them for when you need them.

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Let’s Change the FEAR Acronym

Many of us have faced challenging situations and been told (or told ourselves) that fear was simply False Evidence Appearing Real. This platitude is a favorite saying of feel-good gurus, prosperity proselytizers, and those who are more comfortable with platitudes than solutions. It is the verbal equivalent of a pat on the head and a ‘there, there’.

It does nothing to ease the concerns that individuals wrestle with when facing the unknown or known, but seemingly insurmountable. They have good reason to fear, even knowing the need to move ahead.

Fear can not only be real but justified.

False Evidence Appearing Real denies the reality. Often the person saying this has never experienced the situation and has no idea how real it is and how it impacts the individual’s life. Hence, they come from a place of privilege.

Long ago, as a single parent living below the poverty line, I had more than my share of scary circumstances. After hearing this bromide one too many times, I decided to craft my own.

Face the Evidence and Respond

By reinterpreting the acronym to Face the Evidence and Respond, I felt I was acknowledging the reality and giving myself the courage to respond by making it a directive. “Do this. Look at what is really in front of you. What is in your power to do? Then take action. Do you need to make a phone call? Set up a payment plan? Make alternate arrangements? Make a list and then take action. Communicate.”

Reframing takes shame to action

Re-stating the acronym from the old version to Face the Evidence and Respond gives the recipient courage to move forward and encourages action v. shaming them for perceiving an obstacle. It moves one from victim to survivor. Face Evidence and Respond.

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The Power of Inputs

Many of us have learned to maximize our outputs. We pride ourselves on how much we can produce, how many projects we have, and how productive we are. What some of us don’t acknowledge until we are forced to do so is how important inputs are. If we don’t refresh our energy, ideas, and inspiration with outside inputs, eventually we will lose our effectiveness, at the minimum. Or worse, we lose our health (speaking from experience here).

Inputs provide creative ideas, inspiration to take our work further or expand our scope, and emotional satisfaction, and may give us a bigger future to work towards.

3 ways to give ourselves more inputs?

Expose yourself to different experiences. Only listen to rock and roll? Try bluegrass, classical, or African shamanic. Read fiction from other countries. Join a hiking or kayaking club. Think of things you haven’t tried, but might be curious about.

Deliberately look for and read industry publications from one different than yours. See if a method they use in that industry might offer some ideas for yours.

Follow The Artist’s Way author, Julia Cameron’s recommendation, and take yourself on an ‘Artist’s Date’ once a week. The rules are simple. You have to go or be by yourself, and it must take at least one hour. Examples might be as diverse as whale-watching, visiting a museum or bookstore, or listening to a different music genre.

By consciously ensuring you have plenty of inputs into your life, you will likely be more productive than before. You will be more creative, more inspired, and certainly more prolific.

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The ‘Take Five’ Payoff

If you don’t have two seconds to rub together, and your brain is freaking out at the length of your ‘to-do’ list, that’s the time to ‘take five’. Taking five focused minutes will reset your brain, regulate your body, and give you new energy.

Here’s what you can do in 5 minutes:
  1. Quickly list your top three priorities for the day. Now, list the top three actions for each priority.
  2. Take a walk around the block or down the hall. If possible, outside is best. Pause and stretch at the beginning and end of your walk.
  3. Plan the rest of your day, week, month, or year – obviously the more detailed plans will be those closest to now.
  4. Go get a glass of water. Drink it slowly. Most of us don’t get enough water, and we are often dehydrated.
  5. Feeling stressed? Muscles tight? Set the timer for 5 minutes. Focus on a nearby object (or close your eyes if you can comfortably do so), and begin taking deep, slow breaths. You will likely feel your body relax and your mind quiet down.

It may seem counterintuitive to take time if you feel like you have no time, but it works. Taking 5 minutes as needed during the day will ease your stress, sharpen your focus, and make you more productive. It is a healthier way to move through your day, which may also help you live longer.

There are many benefits and no drawbacks to this method. It’s free, and anyone can do it. That’s the “Take Five” Payoff.

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Thoughts on Creativity and Courage

Creativity inevitably leads to change, and that takes courage. As business owners, creators, and individuals, we will be more effective if we recognize the natural fear, hesitation, and risk we face in order to create.

Rollo May summed this up in his book, The Courage to Create, when he wrote: “Creativity requires courage. The creative process is not a path paved with pure joy, but one filled with suffering, obstacles, anxiety, and frustration. Without the courage to proceed in our creations even when overcome by these unpleasant states, we will remain impotent in our ability to create anything of value.”

May touched on another aspect of creativity in the last part of the above quote. And, that is chaos, which is often the catalyst for creativity. It isn’t only the act of creating a new kind of order by reinventing or re-purposing what is outside of ourselves. There is also inner chaos.

Friedrich Nietzsche said, “You must have chaos within yourself if you are to give birth to a dancing star.” Even his terminology was creative.

Not only does creativity require chaos, it requires destruction. Pablo Picasso said, “Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction.” Now, to be clear, this destruction is most often metaphorical rather than actual destruction. If chaos is not thrust on you by outside sources, consider designing your own state of chaos.

How do you do this? By questioning your beliefs, shaking up your worldview, and throwing yourself into a challenging environment. Step out of your comfort zone, do things you wouldn’t normally do.  Remember, this destruction can be of old ways of thinking or habits, policies, procedures, or structures.

Be courageous, allow for chaos and destruction and you will form something new and valuable. You will be creative.

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The Illusion of Control

Dr. Viktor Frankl

It is an illusion that we are in control of our lives. Once we embrace that fact and recognize the constraints of reality, we are immediately more empowered.  We can do what is in our power to do.  We can manage what we are given.

The first step is to understand our personal paradigm, our way of looking at things. We ask ourselves, “What is my perspective on life? How do we do that? By looking around us and seeing the results in our life. Do we have a lucky life or one that is filled with bad breaks?  Are our days generally good or bad?  We can see what our paradigm is by looking at the results.

We cannot resist reality. Anyone who has suffered an debilitating injury or disease, PTSD, or grief understands that these things will overcome our puny efforts at control.

All we can do is manage what we are given.

How do we manage reality?

We learn to manage by paying attention to our surroundings, our body clues, and our emotions. We ask questions about where we can make decisions and choices that will impact reality. We accept that we can shift our paradigm at any time by choosing how we respond.

Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who was imprisoned by the Nazis and lost his family to the camps, has been credited with the saying,

“Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

In other words our power over reality only exists in our response.  How do we prime ourselves for the most effective response to obtain our preferred results?

We learn. We listen to ourselves. We pay attention to how we feel; we pay attention to what is showing up for us in our contemplation, our journaling, our internal urges and ideas. This is not outer-directed, but inner-directed work.  We peel back layers to get to the heart of who we are at the center. It takes perseverance, endurance, and patience.

Allocating Energy

We each have a finite amount of energy. How will we spend that energy? Will we fight to preserve the illusion that we are in control and wail when life proves otherwise — as it will?  Or will we accept that while we are not ‘in control’, we still have the power to make choices and decisions?

It helps to ask ourselves what our priorities are? How do we want to use our energy? This is a very personal decision.

Dealing with  FEAR

Our circumstances may seem insurmountable and our initial instinct is to be afraid. This is normal. Some will blithely say that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. I take issue with that. I think those who say that often come from a place of privilege without realizing it. I prefer my own explanation which grew out of some desperately real experiences. I reframed it for myself as FEAR = Face the Evidence And Respond. I found it much more empowering. It was only later that I realized how nicely it matched Frankl’s observation.

Conclusion

Controlling life is an illusion.Choosing to deal with life ‘as it is’ frees up our energy for creative work. We manage our lives by ‘playing the cards we’re dealt’. We manage by being thoughtful about our response to outside stimuli. By embracing what we do have power over – our choice of response – we are able to more fully engage with the life we have and the people we love.