Are you afraid to rest? Feel as if you have too much to do, but somehow diligently accomplish everything? Feel responsible for making sure everything goes right, for everyone, everywhere? Experience guilt if you sleep in, go to bed early, or take a nap?
That was me until about six months ago. After having a major health scare, largely brought on by stress, and being forced to resign from many of my commitments, I had to find a healthier way to move forward. After telling my therapist that I felt responsible for letting so many people down, she asked me, “What is your responsibility to yourself?”
I was stunned, as no one (including myself) had ever asked me that question before. That one question forced me to re-evaluate my life in light of all that I still want to accomplish. I decided everything I want to do with the rest of my life depends on me having a healthy heart and physical health.
Steps I have taken
Scheduling Free Time – My therapist challenged me to a 1:2 ratio with 1 part work and contribution and 2 parts free time for other pursuits. I’m working toward that. I’m about 1:1. I calendar my free time.
Being mindful– When I am doing a task, including chopping vegetables or washing the dishes, I stay present in the moment.
Keeping Sabbath – The word Sabbath comes from a Hebrew word meaning “day of rest”. I do my best to keep one day free to rest, read for fun, or just noodling around.
Daily Journaling – I do morning pages every day, but I also keep a second journal for daily observations. There, I write about my guilt and regrets, and every day I begin by writing the question, “What is my responsibility to myself?”