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Author: Jessica
I want to share a poem that raised some interesting questions for me. It is Stephen Mitchell’s translation and adaptation of Psalm 1 from the original Hebrew.
Blessed are the man and the woman
who have grown beyond their greed
and have put an end to their hatred
and no longer nourish illusions.
But they delight in the way things are
and keep their hearts open, day and night.
They are like trees planted near flowing rivers,
which bear fruit when they are ready.
Their leaves will not fall or wither.
Everything they do will succeed.
Ending greed and hatred might be expected. What does it mean to ‘no longer nourish illusions’? The dictionary states illusions come from ‘falsely ascribing reality to what we see or imagine’. Nourishing suggests we are feeding these ideas we have. Is this some meta-observation that what we see around us is not real?
This is followed by the expectation that blessed people “delight in the way things are and keep their hearts open, day and night”.
In this time of issues such as racism, bigotry, and hatred, climate change, violence, and the attacks on democracy, what does it mean to ‘delight in the way things are’? What does it mean to keep our hearts open, day and night? Is that only for those who have grown beyond greed and hatred?
I’m putting this in an essay because I don’t have the answers, only some tenuous ideas. Could we be encouraged to disengage from doomsday scenarios and focus on the good that still exists? To recognize that the pending doom is an illusion, and continue to work for that brighter future? I’m open to suggested interpretations. It seems important.
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Dump the bucket list: Make it so
Today’s piece comes from a comment by Gary Ostrom, a friend of mine. In response to my article about How to Die Without Regrets, he wrote that after a health scare, he “decided to change “Bucket List” into my “Make it So’ list – bought my cello and became a whole lot more candid about my feelings for others.”
From Collecting to Implementing
I love learning from the wisdom of others, and I found Gary’s comment inspiring. Many of us have a Bucket List, or more accurately a ‘maybe someday’ list. By turning over the bucket and implementing a ‘Make It So’ list, Gary intentionally made space for his dreams in reality.
There is no dithering, no hesitation in the phrase ‘make it so’. It assumes the outcome because the author intends to ‘make’ it happen. Gary gathered the tools (bought a cello), learned to play, and set up regular practice time.
There is another clue in his comment. He intentionally became “a whole lot more candid about my feelings for others.” Expressing one’s feelings in a healthy manner instead of holding them in is another pillar in keeping mentally healthy.
Don’t Wait
There is even a cautionary bit in Gary’s tale – one I hope we all learn from. His revelation and changes came after a health scare. I was also motivated to change because of a health scare. For those with a bucket list and good health, I encourage you to pay attention to Gary’s words and take the following actions:
- Move dreams from your Bucket List to your Make it So list. Gather equipment or tools, learn, practice. Implement into your calendar and your life.
- Express yourself. Life is short. Tell friends and family how you feel.
- Do it before a health scare. Do it Now. Make it So.
In 2006 several high school English students were assigned by their teacher, Mrs. Lockwood, to write to a famous author and ask for advice. Below is an excerpt from what was sent by Kurt Vonnegut. I think it is worth taking to heart.
Mr. Vonnegut’s advice
” Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow.
Seriously! I mean starting right now, do art and do it for the rest of your lives. Draw a funny or nice picture of Ms. Lockwood, and give it to her. Dance home after school, and sing in the shower, and on and on. Make a face in your mashed potatoes. Pretend you’re Count Dracula.
Here’s an assignment for tonight, and I hope Ms. Lockwood will flunk you if you don’t do it: Write a six-line poem, about anything, but rhymed. No fair tennis without a net. Make it as good as you possibly can. But don’t tell anybody what you’re doing. Don’t show it or recite it to anybody, not even your girlfriend or parents or whatever, or Ms. Lockwood. OK?
Tear it up into teeny-weeny pieces, and discard them into widely separated trash receptacles. You will find that you have already been gloriously rewarded for your poem. You have experienced becoming, learned a lot more about what’s inside you, and you have made your soul grow.”
Grow your soul
Mr. Vonnegut encourages all sorts of self-expression, without expecting outside payoffs. “Start right now, and do it for the rest of your lives.” His advice is not only soul-enriching, it sounds like fun. I’m in. How about you?
Being called to integrate spiritual practice into your life can be challenging if you do not follow any one traditional spiritual path. Sometimes I yearned for the certainty of an atheist, but despite growing up in an unchurched family, I knew through experience there was something greater than myself before I was five. After decades of searching and trying to fit my beliefs into the ‘too small’ boxes of traditional paths, I gave up and decided to craft my own. Below are 7 books I used to help design my practice.
Everyday Spiritual Practice: Simple Pathways for Enriching Your Life edited by Scott W. Alexander. Learn how to make every day more sacred.
Learning to Dance Inside: Getting to the Heart of Meditation by George Fowler. Discover the benefits of meditation.
Writing to Wake the Soul: Opening the Sacred Conversation Within by Karen Hering. Awaken the ‘still, small voice within’.
Relig-ish: Soulful Living in a Spiritual-But-Not-Religious World by Rachelle Mee-Chapman. Creating your set of eclectic spiritual practices is a way to respond to an expanding world.
Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in our Busy Lives by Wayne Muller. Learn to create your own Sabbath.
Create Your Personal Sacred Text: Develop and Celebrate Your Spiritual Life by Bobbi L. Parish. A step-by-step guide to writing your own scripture using selections from major sacred tests, secular sources, and your own words.
Forty Days to Begin a Spiritual Life: Today’s Most Inspiring Teachers Help You on Your Way by Maura Shaw and the editors at Skylight Paths. Set your own course of self-examination, reflection, and spiritual transformation.
These aren’t the only books I used, but the most impactful. If you, like me, don’t fit neatly into a prescribed path but feel called, perhaps they can help you start crafting your spiritual practice.
Practice refers to “our customary or habitual way of doing something”. In this essay, I’ll focus on our emotions as we move through the day. Our emotions fall into one of two camps – they either renew or deplete us.
What does this mean? Emotions that deplete us disrupt our nervous system and create incoherence in our bodies. Renewing emotions create coherence, meaning all systems in our body are in harmony and working together. This isn’t just ‘woo woo’ stuff, scientists have known it for more than 20 years. Many ancient practices have traditionally operated on this principle.
Depleting Emotions
Emotions such as anger, frustration, irritation, impatience, worry, anxiety, withdrawal, resentment, and burnout deplete our system. These emotions are reflected in our heart rhythms. Depleting emotions result in a chaotic and jerky rhythm that lasts and can be clearly seen, showing that our nervous system is out of sync.
Renewing Emotions
On the other hand, renewing emotions such as gratitude, appreciation, joy, awe, love, interest, hope, serenity, pride, excitement, passion, courage, contentment, fulfillment, and ease quickly smooth our heart rhythms. You may have felt a difference in your body as you read the list of depleting emotions and then the renewing emotions.
How to Focus on Renewal
Notice when you find yourself with a depleting emotion and stop. Take a deep breath and call on a renewing emotion by thinking of something that brings up that positive feeling. Bring it into yourself and anchor it. Let the feeling inhabit your body. The more you practice this, the easier it gets. It takes less than a minute.
The Payoff
Practicing renewing emotions throughout the day, either in the moment or hours later, will strengthen your calmness and coherence. What you practice grows stronger.
If you are ‘spiritual but not religious’, or even if you follow a distinct path, incorporating time for the following things will greatly enhance your connection to the Divine/Nature/All that Is.
Most denominations and paths have a practice or practices designed for their followers. As a practical mystic unattached to one path, it’s been a challenge to design a personal set of practices to deepen my connection to the Universe.
These are the things that I find essential to my daily practice. For each, I take as little or as much time as I feel led to do.
Make time for:
Reading Sacred books: I include the sacred books of many traditions, as well as books that explore other paths of spirituality. I may also read something like Karen Armstrong’s Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life.
Contemplation: I think deeply about what I have read that day. What does it mean to me? Is there a message that personally resonates?
Spiritual Journaling: This is a dedicated notebook where I write about what I am reading and interact with what I am reading and learning. I may also write prayers for those I love, for healing, and sometimes for more understanding.
Prayer: This is deliberate time dedicated to communication and interaction with the Source of All that is. I may give thanks, make a request, or express my awe. In the morning, I like to step outside and give thanks for another day.
Silence: Sometimes I do breathing meditation. More often, I actively listen to and for guidance. It always comes.
Movement: I practice walking meditation, tai chi, and free dance to gratefully stay in touch with my body.
Practicing these actions every day has deepened my spiritual experience. They may do the same for you. Craft and implement your own practice. Spirituality is very personal.
You’ve heard all the arguments for the importance of journaling, but you aren’t convinced. In addition, you don’t have the time, hate to write, and/or don’t think you will have anything to say, even if you are the only one reading it.
Take heart, there are many ways of journaling. If the idea of writing three pages every morning gives you the ‘heebee jeebees’, micro-journaling may be just the thing to break that barrier. Here are 3 simple but effective ways to try.
The 4G method
The 4G stands for Grateful, Good, Glitch, and Goal. Write one word, phrase, or sentence for each of these areas. Write one thing you are grateful for, one good thing from your day, one glitch you experienced, and the goal you are focusing on.
The GLAD method
GLAD is the acronym for Grateful, Learning, Actions, and Direct Focus. In a word or two, write what you are grateful for, what you are learning, what actions you intend to take, and where you are planning to direct or focus your attention.
The +/-/next method
I heard about this method from Anne-Laure Le Conff at Ness Labs.com. It’s as simple as it sounds. Draw 3 columns and label them as above. Write the good things in the plus column, the things that didn’t go so well in the minus column, and what you plan to do next in the last column.
I’m committed to my 3 pages in the morning, and I tend to use these micro-forms for my end-of-the-day wrap-up. It’s a great way to maintain focus, track successes, and see what needs attention, all in a few minutes.
I have found these methods very helpful as guides to my end-of-day review. Try these methods, and you might learn to love journaling.
Are you afraid to rest? Feel as if you have too much to do, but somehow diligently accomplish everything? Feel responsible for making sure everything goes right, for everyone, everywhere? Experience guilt if you sleep in, go to bed early, or take a nap?
That was me until about six months ago. After having a major health scare, largely brought on by stress, and being forced to resign from many of my commitments, I had to find a healthier way to move forward. After telling my therapist that I felt responsible for letting so many people down, she asked me, “What is your responsibility to yourself?”
I was stunned, as no one (including myself) had ever asked me that question before. That one question forced me to re-evaluate my life in light of all that I still want to accomplish. I decided everything I want to do with the rest of my life depends on me having a healthy heart and physical health.
Steps I have taken
Scheduling Free Time – My therapist challenged me to a 1:2 ratio with 1 part work and contribution and 2 parts free time for other pursuits. I’m working toward that. I’m about 1:1. I calendar my free time.
Being mindful– When I am doing a task, including chopping vegetables or washing the dishes, I stay present in the moment.
Keeping Sabbath – The word Sabbath comes from a Hebrew word meaning “day of rest”. I do my best to keep one day free to rest, read for fun, or just noodling around.
Daily Journaling – I do morning pages every day, but I also keep a second journal for daily observations. There, I write about my guilt and regrets, and every day I begin by writing the question, “What is my responsibility to myself?”
If you want to live and die without regrets, why not take steps now? I’ve been asking myself this question since I first came across palliative nurse, Bronnie Ware’s article about the top five regrets expressed by those dying in her care. I then wondered what other dying regrets I could find. I ended up with the following list, which I have modeled on physicist Richard Feynman’s 12 problems. Below, I offer 13, a baker’s dozen. This ‘inner challenge’ has offered clarity and is life-changing. You’re invited to take the challenge with me.
How can I live a life that is true to myself, not the life that others expect of me? What is my purpose?
How can I actively build more relaxation and fun in my life, instead of working so hard?
How can I learn to have the courage to express my feelings? How can I love more?
How can I stay in touch with my friends?
How can I let myself be happier?
How can I learn to worry less?
What has to change for me to be a better parent and/or partner?
How can I learn to care less about what others think?
How can I touch more lives and inspire more people?
How can I learn to be comfortable enough to take more risks?
What has to happen for me to take better care of myself?
How can I embrace each moment as a gift and not take life for granted?
How can I learn to live in the NOW?
I have been thinking about these questions since the beginning of the year. I carry them around with me on the notes app on my phone. I journal about them daily. As with anything, when we focus thoughtfully and listen, we find we often already know at least some answers. Try it and see for yourself. It works!